11 Things (I Love You, Don't Die)

1. It's been a while since I wrote 11s. I wrote very little in August. It's funny - I can't even say I missed writing, though after having lunch with someone where our conversation rattled me, you know where I turned the next morning to work it out, right? The page. Always back to the page.

2. Chalupa barks and barks. We've gotten pretty good at speaking her language and can generally discern what she wants. Clean water, her bed dragged nearer to one of us, more kale chips (or slices of pepper or cucumber or apple -- this dog loves produce), to go outside, to sleep. She is not shy about communicating her needs, and she settles down quickly once they are met. Believe me, I'm taking notes.

3. I met a famous writer this summer. She was funny and whip smart and down-to-earth. I waited till we'd been talking for an hour or so to go all fangirl and mention that I'd read and loved her books.

4. There's a song called Safe Travels (Don't Die) by Lisa Hannigan. In my head, I often think, "I love you (don't die)" whenever I say goodbye to one of my beloveds. I can't help it. Maybe it's not something that needs to be helped. Every day is precious.

5. We love and we fear loss, and then we experience loss, and loss and grief and love and that heightened sense of everything, like the air itself has a texture. How do we write love? How do we write grief? How do we write joy or the mundane passage of time, and how breath and crickets on a warm September evening mingle? How, indeed, do we write anything?

6. I will never claim to understand either -- love or writing. I don't need to understand. There is a real freedom in that, and no small amount of awe and humility.

7. Speaking of freedom, I read a review of Maggie Nelson's new book yesterday. I have to admit, I haven't finished "The Argonauts." Oh God, now I will further admit that it's currently serving as a wedge under a wobbly desk leg, and I feel some guilt about this and really it is sacrilege that I'm using any book for such a purpose. Good thing Yom Kippur is coming because I have some things to get off my chest. I'll start there.

7. We are nearing the end of season 3 of The Resident. It's a veritable soap opera, but I love it and for the most part a well written one that touches on some real subjects, like suicide prevention and the absolute decimation of medicine by the drive for profit. I am such a sucker for the whole cast, and desperately rooting for AJ and Mina to wind up together at last.

8. I put up new twinkle lights in the living room last night. The old ones burned out months ago. Now that summer's ending, it's time to start warming the place back up from the inside out.

9. I'm thinking about offering some writing/connecting workshops this fall on Zoom, one about the future and one about replenishing ourselves creatively and spiritually. On a scale of 1 to 10, how full is your well in this moment?

10. I'm at about a 7.5 and taking nothing for granted. Coffee's prepped for morning. Time to wash up and climb into bed with my love. Pearl just came into my office to tell me some dad jokes. Kid's got my number.

11. I love you. Don't die.