August Break

I'm planning to take August off. A whole month! I can't quite believe it. As a self-employed person, taking any time off is a calculated risk, a leap of faith, and ultimately, an investment in the future of the work. In the spirit of "we teach what we have to learn," I am preempting burnout by stepping away from all the things -- social media, newsletters, blog posts, writing groups, private coaching clients, editing.

This is not so easy to do when a) I actually really love my work and b) I actually really love being able to pay our bills and support my family (enter "leap of faith" part of the equation). So, this decision is a conscious choice not to let fear and scarcity drive the bus.

It feels important to pause here, to name that our country is so many kinds of fucked up when it comes to who "gets" to rest, just as it is it terms of who gets health insurance, and the way these things are almost always directly tied to the type of employment and employers we have. It makes me so many kinds of mad.

Also, the phrase "self-employed" is a bit of a misnomer, because in a way, I work for hundreds of individuals -- people who choose to work with me. These are beautiful, reciprocal, often deep relationships, and I am forever grateful to have found a way to create a livelihood that's reflective of my values and my spirit alike. And while it is true that I work my tail off, it is also true that I have had many, many unearned advantages -- professional opportunities, degrees, social networks, "the benefit of the doubt," and myriad other invisible boosts by virtue of being a white woman.

Millions of people work just as hard and do not get to step away from it all. I say this not out of guilt, but because it is important that we tell the truth about how things are and recognize that the idea of being "entitled" to time off is part of why capitalism is killing us. If you work retail or in the service industry, you do not get to take a "leap of faith" and take a month off. Self-employment, such as it is, may be precarious in some ways, but it affords certain freedoms that I do not take for granted (but that won't happen all by themselves).

I will forever continue to devote myself to speaking up about the inequities and injustices embedded in every aspect of American life and doing my part to right (and write) them, while continuously paying attention to the necessary and hopefully healthy balance between taking up room and taking a seat, and knowing when to do which (this, too, is a practice).

I give thanks to be in community with so many incredible teachers and friends. I believe in my bones that we are here each to do our part in reparing a broken world, no matter how many generations that may take.

While loving my work is a huge blessing it's also easy to become so identified with what I *do* that I am not entirely sure what it will be like just to *be*, to peel away from a calendar and schedule, to tune more fully into the rhythms of my body and let the days unfold without a plan, to see what ideas emerge from stepping into this kind of space.

As a Capricorn and an enneagram 2 -- the helper -- I'm deeply invested in working hard, showing up, connecting, and being of service. These can all be great traits, but I am learning as I get older that making time to step away from is also worthwhile, without needing to justify the time (as perhaps I am doing with this long-ass post lol).

So for the past week or so, I've told several folks that we need to look ahead to September for scheduling our next calls, and not one person has blinked. In fact, everyone has been so supportive. This feels like a huge gift. And it's harder to give myself the kinds of gifts I would never in a thousand years hesitate to want and champion for you.

All of this is really to say: I'll be gone from this space in August, and then (G-d willing), I'll be back!

 

Your support of my work helps me keep going (without burning out)!

 
CommunityJena SchwartzAugust break, time off, self-employment, community, CapitalismComment