It Is My Custom to Stand

Kaddish, the mourner's prayer. A prayer that praises the source of life in a dozen ways or more, never once mentioning death or sadness or loss or grief.

"All those in mourning or whose custom it is to stand are invited to rise to recite Kaddish." I can hear the rabbi's voice as if he's speaking directly to me.

I stand.

I say this prayer for those who have no one to say it for them.

I say it for those who died alone, without family or friends, no outpouring, no gathering, no memorial, no marker.

I say it for those who died nameless, or homeless, or in the borderlands on a treacherous journey.

I say it for those who died in wars and atrocities, whose bodies were never found or identified or lovingly tended.

I say it for those whose lineage ended.

I stand every time.

It is my custom to stand.