National Coming Out Day

I certainly didn't feel mentally or emotionally prepared to come out.

But come out I did. There was no stopping me. Picture a slender bottle and a Robin-Williams-sized genie.

Trust me, I tried to put the genie back. She did not "fit" with the life I had made, the relationship I was in no matter how genuine my commitment had been, and so many of the norms I'd taken on as my own that felt confining in ways I wasn't even fully aware of.

I spent enough years with the guilt. I am still sorry for any harm I caused. But I am not sorry that I trusted the knowing that ultimately led me to becoming more fully myself and making it possible for me to give of myself that much more wholeheartedly and authentically.

Hiding from our lives is incredibly tiring and painful, whether we know we're doing it or not. Coming out, I learned, is not a one-time thing, but an ongoing way of life. Over time, it becomes more familiar to be honest about who we are, until yes, the days do come when the thought of going back into the closet fully fades.

If you are frightened, I see you.

If you are confused, I see you.

If you are hungry, I see you.

If you are angry, I see you.

If you are straddling identities and trying to keep it all from coming apart, I see you.

I will not tell you to come out. I will not tell you to let the chips land where they may. I will not presume to know what it is like to be in your body, in your life, in your shoes.

But I will say this: We need you, the whole you. Keep listening to your own spirit and reaching for the support you need. May you find your people, safety, and peace on the other side.